oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
this boner is exhausting
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
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