I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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