Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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