i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
this just has baby written all over it
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
