just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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