yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
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stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
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I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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