those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
