He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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