is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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