with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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