Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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