Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
