Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
