Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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