we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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