# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
