okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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