she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
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