The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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