nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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