She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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