My room smells like vodka and shame
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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