So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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