If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
