walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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