Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
