I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I just forgot I was standing up.
Randomize