**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
The Olympian is in my bed
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
