On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
We don't watch enough power rangers
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Randomize
