Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I wish you could order shots online.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Come share oat with me in your robe
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
