the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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