Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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