was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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