but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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