I'm drive I can fine osifer
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
