okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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