it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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