he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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