great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I believe in your delicious
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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