I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize