Betty ford says i'm here all night
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
