That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
