She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
