THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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