I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
