she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
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