he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
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Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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