Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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