woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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