lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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