My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
