At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
