i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
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