so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
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they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
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