I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
