i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
