her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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