I should be sponsored by Trojan
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
