I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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