coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Michael Bay diarrhea
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
