mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize