They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize