U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize