He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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