There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
