Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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