i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Randomize
