I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Welp...herpes.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
