Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
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i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
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