Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
