I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
What happened to fro yo and sex?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
