So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
