I want to stick my p in your. b.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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